I firmly believe that to understand where we are, we must first look to the path behind us and see where we have been. I find myself recounting my past from time to time by looking a pictures, reading old journal entries, or even just remembering what was...
Many may know, some might not, I took a trip during the summer of 2007 that encapsulated who I am and who I want to be. It made me and it changed me. These four weeks included a long trip to the great state of Montana with three of the best friends I could ever wish for. Why Montana? Because...that is where we were supposed to be. We heard and heeded the call to go West to search for something in the wild. Something untameable and great. We searched for God, adventure, and ourselves. And I think I found all three.
I have always...always felt and believed one could find, even connect with God, much better in His creation rather than man's, as did my brothers on this trip. We rented a cabin, for $20 a night, smack dab in the wilderness. We called Birch Creek Cabin on Thief Creek Road our home for 3 weeks. Two rooms and two sets of bunk-beds turned out to be paradise.
Many people ask, 'What did you do?' I always have the same answer, 'Whatever we wanted to do.' Most days consisted of sleeping 'til 9 or 10. During the morning hours, we all had a common respect for one another and gave each other space. For the first 2 to 3 hours of the morning, we would all read scripture, write our thoughts, and pray. This was the first indication that I knew Montana was where I needed to be. After a lite lunch together, we made plans for the day. Most of the time, someone would ask the group, 'Want to go fishin'?' Naturally, the answer always was an enthusiastic 'yes.' We would spend the next hour or so staging a militaristic attack on the trout of western Montana.
And so we went fishing...real fishing...fly fishing. We spent hours in high mountain lakes and valley rivers below seeking Rainbow, Cutthroat, or even Grayling trout. We caught many and kept a few. The fate of those we kept inevitably ended up in our bellies as we sat around the kitchen table content talking about the day and about life.
But, naturally, we had fears of the wild. Because our outhouse stood 40 yards from the cabin, going to the bathroom at night was an adventure of itself. We were in bear and cougar country, during a season where we heard of a mauling a week. Being the boys who grew up in the suburbs that we were, every nightly trip to the outhouse included wearing a headlamp and carrying a shotgun. A bit overkill we realized after the first week.
That month changed us in the same way someone tunes a piano. We all came back to our center. I became Chandler Perry Creel. With no distractions (internet, TV, phone service, connection to the world), I became myself, the self God wanted and wants me to be. If there is nothing to grab your focus, you end up looking at yourself and looking at God. So we became in tune with nature...in tune with ourselves...and most importantly, in tune with God.
One of my favorite books is A River Runs Through It.
A favorite excerpt from that book is as follows,
...my father believed that man by nature was a mess and had fallen from an original state of grace. Somehow, I early developed the notion that he had done this by falling from a tree. As for my father, I never knew whether he believed God was a mathematician but he certainly believed God could count and that only by picking up God's rhythms were we able to regain power and beauty.
We found our power and it was quite beautiful. Despite being completely "uncivilized," we found what we were looking for...God and ourselves with Him. As God gave Adam a garden, I believe God gave us Montana, a place where we could walk with the Lord while having no distractions.
With none of the distractions that have become normal in our day to day lives, we listened.... We picked up on the rhythms of God and nature and lived how God had intended. Instead of fighting or struggling through life, we flowed with it. We spent time with Him. We fished for food and spent hours talking over dinners that lasted 3 to even 5 hours...just in fellowship.
We had each other... God became a very actual presence. It's hard to hike 4 miles up a mountain to find a 109 acre lake with white sandy beaches and crystal clear waters and not see the face of God.
Take a glance at these pictures... I see four guys surrounded by what they were looking for.
Finding ourselves on the lakes, rivers, and stream God carved out of the earth, I am brought back to a line from A River Runs Through It.
Long ago, rain fell on mud and became rock. Half a billion years ago... But even before that, beneath the rocks......are the words of God. Listen.
And so we did...
As the four of us spent hours casting our lines to and fro, we got lost. The feeling of a flow and momentum of one's line on a fly rod became like a pulse. It flowed and it fed our souls. Back and forth. Back and forth. Surrounded by snowy peaks and glass clear water, we lost ourselves and found where we needed to be. We became a part of God's creation and we became ourselves. We found a harmony and a "oneness" with the wilderness. We surpassed the earth and water and found the words of God underneath.
Then in the Arctic half-light of the canyon, all existence fades to a being with my soul and memories...
Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words...
Selah
